Me and My Friends

I have never been someone to hold back in relationships. I am pretty transparent, don't mind sharing pretty much anything with a friend. I figure, if I am going to invest the time, I am going to do it all the way.
We have moved several times. I think this is our fifth ministry since we met? There have been great things about moving. New opportunities, new "cultures", new churches, new friends. And some of the friendships I have made, I will have for the rest of my life. They are deep, truth-filled, life-changing friendships.
But there is this struggle inside of me at the same time. I am a bit of a home-body. I like to be with Bobby and the kids all the time! And so what that has done, is caused me to form good friendships with wives of Bobby's friends or with women involved in his ministries. Which, actually, works really well, because it almost guarantees that we have a bunch in common and makes the whole beginning stages of the friendship pretty comfortable!
But since high school, I haven't had a real "group" of friends that I identified myself with. The "gang" I ran around with, hung out with; the people other people would know as my friends. And in high school , my friends were my life. It has been a whole I longed to fill for years. Not a huge deal because I had Bobby and a few other really good friends. But feeling like you belong to a small community was something I hadn't experienced in years. I think what makes it worse, is that all of our extended family lives far away. This Jackson family has always been on their own! And while it is a quiet prayer of mine that that won't always be the case, it has been a dynamic of life I have had to learn to adjust to.
Until recently. Bobby and I have found a group of friends that is indescribable. Months ago, we began meeting as a small group in our home every other week. Over the summer, we decided to meet every week and then in the fall couldn't handle going back to every other week and now the seven families get together for dinner, fellowship, and study of the word. The conversations during dinner and study) are often times life changing and rich. The connection that we all shared immediately was amazing, and no doubt from God. We all share life with each other. I find myself feeling like I belong to an awesome group of friends again! It really is like having this huge family all the time!
So why do I say all this? Well, today I find myself really struggling with the end of another friendship. I had invested lots of time and heart (both of my own and my families') into this relationship. I knew it was coming to an end and have just been in denial, I guess. And there are so many layers with kids; kids that are friends with their kids wanting to know where they are, why aren't they coming, why aren't we going. I know it's all part of life. That just doesn't ease the pain of the end of a friendship.
But what does help is the Spirit bringing to mind the amazing ways that God has blessed me in the area of friendships lately. I thought my friend and I would be long-time deep friends. And while I was grieving the loss of this friendship (and I still am), God was busy with a desire of my heart!