Monday, June 28, 2010

What Makes It Work?

We have been on vacation for a week now and I cannot believe how much I needed one! We did a family vacation last year in TN. And really, a couple years ago, the idea of a real vacation two years in a row would've seemed impossible. But now it seems like a necessity!
The kids and I have spent that last week with family and I was able to spend some time with good dear friends. It has been great. A couple afternoons at the pool, East coast pizza at least once a day, and snuggling with the kids during the night. It has been awesome!

But Bobby hasn't been here. He wasn't able to come until today, so we have been out here enjoying ourselves, but missing him like crazy!
We met 14 years ago and besides Christmas break my Freshman year, this is by far the longest we have been apart! We just don't do so well without each other. Well, I guess I should speak for myself - I don't do so well without him! I think he has had an incredibly productive week while we were gone!

I know that people think we are so cheesy sometimes. A friend of mine was saying something about a newlywed that thought her husband was the greatest guy ever. My friend said that was alright, they hadn't been married a year yet. Next year, she would think differently. I immediately started bragging and told her that Bobby and I had been together 14 years and are still crazy and madly in love with each other! I don't think that's cheesy or weird.

Bobby and I really feel like we have been blessed with the marriage we have. Its always been pretty easy for us. Not to say that its been perfect. We have been through some tough times, some things that other couples haven't survived. But we still have this ridiculous amount of love for each other. He walks in the room and I still often feel that flip-flop in my belly. I walk into the room and I can see that glimmer in his eye when he looks at me.
We have always been that way. Silly romantics. And I know that doesn't work for everyone. A lot of how our marriage plays out has to do with our personalities. I get that. And our faith is absolutely the foundation of our marriage. But a lot of why it is still the way it is has to do with a couple of practical things.

One thing is that we assume the best of each other. He assumes that when I have (or haven't) done something, there is a good reason. And even if there isn't a good reason, he comes into the situation with such a better attitude than he would've had he thought the worst of me. That has made a huge difference in conflict.
Then the other totally important thing for us is we don't raise our voice at each other. 14 years - no yelling. Really. And we don't agree on everything. Actually, the older we get, the more I am finding my voice and letting him know that I don't always agree with him, but we just don't yell. Bobby actually almost always holds my hand when we fight. Its really hard to yell at someone when you are touching them!

But really, I blame Bobby. Our marriage works so amazingly because he is so awesome. Actually, I think it may work well because he would say the same thing about me!
He so awesome - I can't wait to see him!

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